A post for the fun of it

I haven't posted in a while so I figured I would. Nothin really new or exciting going on in life, I'm still lookin for a job (teaching or non) and it really sucks.

Today I was at my Uncles 70th Birthday BBQ and I'm really happy with the choices I made for dinner. We had hot dogs, hamburgers, sausages, and chicken breast - I opted for the chicken and a bit of ceaser salad and a bit of broccoli salad. I was happy with that! At desert I did have a piece of carrot cake which was AMAZING! but i turned down the butter tart i was given, and the rice crispy square. I much say I'm happy with that. I do have a really bad headache post-cake though due to the sugar! I never used to get "sugar highes" but i've noticed now that i changed what im eating and what not, that things like sugar really get to me....

Nothin else really new other than being UBER tired- i was up all night driving my drunk (older) brother around town so that he wouldn't drive his own car.

Omg what a waste of a night!

So on Friday I went to visit my best friend in Ingersoll it was a lot f fun- great night! That isnt my problem.... My problem is Saturday Night... I went to see a guy Sat night in London (i've posted about it before)... I thought it was gonna be quite the night given the history between us- and the massssssive amount of sexual tension that had been buildin between us for a few weeks... So I get to his house and we go in- he hadn't eaten dinner yet so he cooked up some food for himself... we sat on the couch --- i could pretty much end it there because that explains the whole night except it gets worse!!! We sit beside eachother at first- only time he spoke was when i inniated the conversation by making a comment or asking him a question- we watched movies that were on tv...we sat pretty much in utter silence --- the breaking point- he was texting another girl all night while i was sitting beside him... He's got this girl he really likes but she doesn't wanna date him for whatever reasons yet he continues to chase it--- well many times he'll be with her and texting me- why not- its good times - but i didn't realize that when he was with me he'd be texting her lol... WOW is all i have to say... Then he gets up later on for a drink comes back and lays on the other couch so what do i do- lay down on the one im on lol... the whole night i debated bailing but i wasn't sure how to do it and not be a bitch lol... well it never happened cuz i ended up falling asleep on the couch - what can i say it was just WAYYYY to exciting of a night lol - god i could have had more fun alone at home- at least i'd get my own bed to sleep in at the end of the night... i guess shortly after i crashed he decided to go to bed and left me on the couch- didnt even toss a blaket beside me - fuck I woke up FROZEN! when i woke up this mornirng i did bail- i left...it ended up taking me almost 4 hrs to get home due to traffic- i wasn't about to wait around sitting on his couch all morning for him to wake up --- at that point i just wanted to get the F outa there! I dont know what his deal was- he hasn't talked to me yet today so i msg'd him he was replying until i asked "what was your deal lastnight?" haha OPPS! none the less i'm over the whole situation - actually im more frustrated and annoyed than anything. At least pretend that your interested when im there lol! I think actually, im mixed between Frustration and Stupidity lol


---- just got his reply as to what his deal was lastnight he said he was stressed, tired and wasn't feeling well --- thats a lot of excuses lol... he has an exam on friday he claims thats what its all from- common even when your stressed u can still TALK!-----

Still angry

So i thought when i woke up this morning that i was feeling better and not pissed off- but nope i still am... i msg'd him today and asked him if he was still in a crusty mood b/c last night he was bitchy and he was like yea i guess im fine and said nothing to me after that--- so im back to being pissed off!

UGHHHHHHHHHH

I'm so upset right now... you know when your angry and frustrated that you just wanna cry but your so angry that you cant- yep thats me RIGHT now... and whos the only person that can make us women like this? Men... So yes it was a man that has done this to me! we'e good friends i mean i like him *as posted earlier* at least i think i do... and i found out tonight that though he doesn't like me in the way i would prefer he finds me sexually attractive lol or at least so that he wants to sleep with me...i guess after all the drunken text messagiging things seem to have developed lol... so after a long 2 hr convo on line i'm angry as hell! things that normally wouldn't really bother me have really gotten under my skin.. i just wanna yell its like every little thing he said was pissing me off and normally things dont really bother me that much..he was making it out like if i didnt come visit him (hes in London, On) within the next day or two than clearly im just "all talk and a tease" again normally that woulnt bug me but i really took offence to it tonight. i attemtped to blame 'mother nature' for not being able to (even though it was a lie) and even that bairly worked his responce was "well a week is a long time to wait." im just so angry and frustrated right now... I'll be the first to admit we have a lot of sexual tension between us i mean u could totally cut it with a knife lol and the fact that today is his birthday and tomorrow is mine i guess made it to be the 'perfect birthday presents' lol.... i dont know if its just a mood im in and he walked into it making it worse of if he is the reason for this mood...I'm not happy with the pressure he was giving me i know that made things worse- like if i said i'm not comfortable with something leave it at that and fuckin respect it dont keep pushing at it! and i do have mixed feelings about it.. i mean am i all talk maybe a bit? hes a good friend of mine and i dont wanan complicate things... at the same time i am attracted to him.. it has been a few years since much has happened between me and a man - due to jeremys passing so i know thats probably effecting my mood too!

i just wanna yell at the top of my lungs!!!!


side note: according to a facebook quiz- this song is the theme song of my life- check out the video i really like the song and its actually totally real because the lyrics do match how i feel at this stage in my life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BieVgyrfglQ