UGHHHHHHHHHH

I'm so upset right now... you know when your angry and frustrated that you just wanna cry but your so angry that you cant- yep thats me RIGHT now... and whos the only person that can make us women like this? Men... So yes it was a man that has done this to me! we'e good friends i mean i like him *as posted earlier* at least i think i do... and i found out tonight that though he doesn't like me in the way i would prefer he finds me sexually attractive lol or at least so that he wants to sleep with me...i guess after all the drunken text messagiging things seem to have developed lol... so after a long 2 hr convo on line i'm angry as hell! things that normally wouldn't really bother me have really gotten under my skin.. i just wanna yell its like every little thing he said was pissing me off and normally things dont really bother me that much..he was making it out like if i didnt come visit him (hes in London, On) within the next day or two than clearly im just "all talk and a tease" again normally that woulnt bug me but i really took offence to it tonight. i attemtped to blame 'mother nature' for not being able to (even though it was a lie) and even that bairly worked his responce was "well a week is a long time to wait." im just so angry and frustrated right now... I'll be the first to admit we have a lot of sexual tension between us i mean u could totally cut it with a knife lol and the fact that today is his birthday and tomorrow is mine i guess made it to be the 'perfect birthday presents' lol.... i dont know if its just a mood im in and he walked into it making it worse of if he is the reason for this mood...I'm not happy with the pressure he was giving me i know that made things worse- like if i said i'm not comfortable with something leave it at that and fuckin respect it dont keep pushing at it! and i do have mixed feelings about it.. i mean am i all talk maybe a bit? hes a good friend of mine and i dont wanan complicate things... at the same time i am attracted to him.. it has been a few years since much has happened between me and a man - due to jeremys passing so i know thats probably effecting my mood too!

i just wanna yell at the top of my lungs!!!!


side note: according to a facebook quiz- this song is the theme song of my life- check out the video i really like the song and its actually totally real because the lyrics do match how i feel at this stage in my life http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BieVgyrfglQ